


silent attraction

by 74_Personas



Category: My Engineer (TV)
Genre: Accidental Cuddling, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Platonic Cuddling, Studying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:48:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24810346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/74_Personas/pseuds/74_Personas
Summary: King understands many things about Ram except for the given fact that the younger is in love with him.(set after the finale)
Relationships: King/Ram (My Engineer)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 139





	silent attraction

~

Ram would never admit to anyone that the time when he was most studious was when he was with P’King. Honestly speaking, it wouldn’t make much sense either. Considering that he was harboring fugitive feelings of  _ affection _ for the said man and even when P’King so much as  _ breathed _ was a distraction to his poor first-year soul. 

Whenever he is within P’King’s view, he wears his heart on his sleeve. Ram feels all the love he has for him pouring out of eyes that can never leave his senior’s face. 

He’s an open book, or well, he feels like one most of the time. 

And in the short weeks that they have known each other, Ram is both terrified and in awe that his senior had managed to pick apart the intricate language of his silence. He doesn’t have to do anything more than quirk his lips for P’King to just  _ know. _ P’King pays attention to Ram, or actually he may just be an attentive person in general. Ram guesses that he has to be because his entire condo is a rainforest, enclosed within the walls of urban housing. 

Silent as his plants are, they only ask for attention. So Ram concludes that P’King is attentive because he is meant to be so with his plants. And also that most living things genuinely seek the attention of the handsome senior anyways. 

Ram doesn’t usually sigh, but he’s taken up that form of expression quite often since their return from a camping trip a month or so ago. He’s glad that P’King hasn’t kicked him out, hasn’t lashed out in anger or worse:  _ doesn’t want to be friends with him anymore _ . Ram is grateful that that hasn’t happened; truly. But what he doesn’t understand is how they can go about living in the same place, the same room as if everything were completely normal.

Ram, himself, has spent more than a few sleepless nights longing for the ghost of someone’s lips against his own. Even when they share the same bed now, the yawning distance between them is each person’s separate place at opposite sides of the bed. Some nights, he’ll sleep on his side, facing P’King, staring into his senior's back. Though he hasn’t seen him lose any more sleep since his head had stopped hurting. 

The distance between their feelings feels farther than he has ever known, despite orbiting in each other’s spaces daily. Ram wants to lose his mind sometimes so he’s grateful for moments like this.

Moments like the present, where they are sitting on the floor next to the low coffee table, leaning on the bottom of P’King’s plush couch. Their notes are spread haphazardly across the small table, but Ram doesn’t mind as long as P’King doesn’t mind. 

The space that they share is small enough to be uncomfortable. But Ram relishes in the moments when their arms brush during writing, or when their legs skim against one another to get into a more comfortable position. Ram is also happy that P’King is such a dedicated worker because when his senior is in the zone, he won’t know if  _ anyone _ is looking at him. It gives Ram a few selfish moments to just stare, minutely at him. He’s only ever been caught looking once, but P’King’s never questioned him with anything more than a confused smile. 

Ram is always grateful for the study sessions that he has with his senior. He studies well enough on his own, but P’King always seems to know when to step in and when to let him work out a hard equation by himself. He doesn’t baby him but doesn’t let him fumble around blindly either. P’King is a good tutor, a good roommate, a good friend, a good everything . 

So Ram doesn’t understand why his senior can’t see that he’s so very deeply  _ in love with him _ .

The thought bugs his mind a lot more often than he likes to admit. Most days, Ram just tunes it out, feeling grateful enough to even be a friend in his senior’s life, let alone something more. So he goes about the usual routine of ignoring it until it explodes in his head. 

And when it does, this is how it usually happens: at the end of the study session, when sleepiness clings to their limbs.

Ram muffles a yawn with his palm, letting his pencil drop to the table and leaning back onto the couch behind him. He stretches his back a bit, letting his muscles ease out from the hours that it spent sitting on the cool marble floor. Beside him, P’King seems to be scribbling something intensely. His senior had always been a mild workaholic, especially when finals kicked in. But Ram is surprised when he follows his actions a few minutes later, dropping his own pen down loudly. Ram watches as P’King leans back onto the couch and throws his head back on the cushion. He closes his eyes.

Ram looks at the column P’King throat, eyes following the drop of his Adam’s apple when he swallows nothing. Ram also notices the beads of sweat that dot the edge of his chin and his face. It must be hotter than Ram realized. Even the light breeze from the open balcony wasn’t enough to cool them today. Ram blinks after a long moment and tries to get up to get a drink for himself and his parched senior. But he doesn’t make it too far when he feels P’King’s familiar tuft of hair fall onto his shoulder. 

Ram stills.

“Studying was hard. Let me stay like this for a bit” P’King mumbles. 

Ram lets out his breath slowly and begins fixing his position so that P’King would be more comfortable. P’King rests his head against Ram’s shoulder easily, as if he belongs there. He does, _of course_ , he does, but they haven’t really discussed it and it’s killing Ram inside. 

P’King turns, nosing against the bottom of Ram’s throat ever so softly before resting his head there. He’s comfortable. Ram knows that when his senior’s eyes fully close, he’s on his way to sleep. 

Ram chances a small glance at P’King laying in his arms and finds himself staring again. Up close, P’King’s face is as beautiful as ever. Ram has only ever ached from an intense boxing match, but this feels different. It lingers in the depths of his bones and it probably won’t leave until they’ve cleared up whatever is in the air between them. When he feels P’King’s even breath by his shoulder, he knows that chance has long passed. Looking at his senior’s sleeping face, he allows himself one small indulgence.

Ram only ever does this when he knows that P’King is really asleep. He’d found out that this was a calming thing to do to bring his senior out of a nightmare, and he hadn't found it in himself to stop even when P’King was resting calmly. Ram brings the hand wrapped around his senior’s shoulder up to his head and softly pats his hair. His fingers run through the long silky strands and Ram swears he hears a soft hum. 

Ram sits there, with P’King’s hands limp in his lap and head resting on his shoulder. He’s a warm presence on an even warmer summer night. But Ram can’t help it that his heart yearns for small moments like this. 

He runs his fingers through P’King hair rhythmically, letting his thoughts roam to the man in his arms as well. 

Ram feels like an open book. And he should definitely be one to his senior. His senior who was able to read his microexpressions better than friends that have known him for years. The senior whose eyes sparkle with mischief and tease to try and get a word out of him. The senior that never pushed, well, until their confrontation in a shared tent. 

_ “Yea.  _ _ Cause you make me feel good” _

_ “It tortures me, you know?!” _

But couldn’t P’King see that it tortured Ram just as much? 

Was his senior  _ that  _ oblivious to every moment that they shared together? 

Surely, P’King could have realized that every word Ram spoke was to wax poetry about him. Easily, he should have seen how much Ram cared for him in ways that jumped pass friendly. Ram never was that great with words, but his eyes held the universe. And P’King had been looking straight at his face, since the very first day. 

_ How much bolder, louder, did his actions have to get? _

Ram’s lips suddenly tingle with a phantom brush. If he closes his eyes he can still taste it, the hard alcohol scent in his nose and on his tongue. Ram feels the breath leave his lips. If such a kiss was so easy for P’King to overlook, then what more could he ever do?

_ Maybe, he’s just avoiding a relationship with you _ , Ram’s traitorous thoughts acknowledge. 

Ram hates that that is a possibility. But it isn’t far off. Why else would someone not talk about a kiss, or pretend and move on? Ram’s heart stutters in his chest. His hand stops moving through familiar silky strands. 

He is lifting his hand as slowly as he can from his senior’s head when he hears a whine from the body against him. Ram’s widened eyes find P’King’s face, whose blinking up at him with the most adorable expression. 

“Why’d you stop?” P’King pouts. 

Ram can only blink at him, a bit stupid from the contentment he finds on P’King’s face before he resumes his petting. Ram can’t believe that P’King was awake.

“I don’t fall asleep that fast, you know?” P’King comments. If Ram didn’t know any better, he'd think that his senior was a mind reader. But Ram realized long ago that P’King knows him better than he knows himself at times. 

_ So then why doesn’t he know- _

“I...like it, when you pet my hair” P’King sighs out, turning his head slightly to look up at Ram’s face. Ram doesn’t know what to say to that; P’King wasn’t supposed to know that he pet his hair as often as he did.

“Why do you pet my hair so much, hmm?” P’King asks in that teasing way of his. Ram wonders if P’King would ask that if he could hear Ram’s heartbeat. It’s thundering in his chest. Then again, maybe now is the time to just be blunt. To be as honest as possible.

“...-”

“I think I figured it out. I know” P’King says thoughtfully. Ram watches as he moves to sit up, right next to him. He leans his arm on the couch cushion, staring at Ram’s shell shocked face. P’King’s face is suddenly uncharacteristically serious. Ram stares back at him, a bit nervous a lot excited.

There is a short, mildly tense pause.

“Does petting my hair remind you of your puppies?” P’King finally asks. His voice is soft. P’King leans a bit on his arms, eyes downcast, “I’m sorry I get too scared of them for you to keep them all here”

The wave of emotions that had washed passed his body leaves Ram a little lightheaded. But when his eyes meet P’King’s again, he stares into wide, genuine, and caring brown orbs. Ram realizes that P’King’s eyes are honest eyes. Eyes that haven’t ever really hidden what he feels. Right now, they’re unnecessarily concerned and soft-hearted as the person he’s gotten to know. 

Ram smiles a bit at the thought and huffs out a small laugh. His laugh, P’King takes it as a yes. Quickly, Ram finds his senior in his arms again with his head in the crook of Ram’s neck.

“You can always pet me when you miss your puppies,” P’King says, grabbing Ram’s wrist and laying the hand connected onto his head.

Ram lets out another barely audible laugh, but he knows P’King feels the shake in his chest. With his hand petting his senior’s head again, he guesses he should feel a bit grateful for the little misinterpretation of his actions. It bids him some time to think of something he could do, that P’King can not misunderstand. 

One day, he knows, P'King will understand. 

But for now, with the person he longs for as close as this, Ram is happy. 

~

**Author's Note:**

> hewwo~! ( ﾟ▽ﾟ)/
> 
> this has been a little piece that's been sitting in my drafts for the longest time; so here is the baby. i hope that you enjoyed this un-betaed first offering to this very sweet fandom. thank you so much for reading, and your time here!


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